Ch.11 - Flicker of the Flame

If I could, I'd stay right here gazing into the flicker of these flames.  Something about it has a way of enveloping me, capturing my mind, arresting my spirit.  I was quite wrong to describe these flames before as unconsuming.  Truth is, I'm quite consumed by the warmth, the embers rising, the smoke, the hue, the color creating a longing in my spirit for something more.

How can I describe it?  I struggle putting into words what I'm seeing so that you, the reader, might capture it in your minds-eye the view.  So be patient with me a minute and let me give this a try. 

Imagine a house on fire.  The windows, the shutters, the roof all overtaken in the flames.  Yet, somehow the wallboards, the windows, the roof, the front door, they're still standing, each piece connected in its original form.  The building is completely ablaze, consumed by the fire but not burned up nor destroyed.  Not only that, there's no char marks on any part of it to ever indicate it was overtaken this way. 

A fire that burns but doesn't destroy.  Like the proverbial moth to the blaze, this flame draws you in.

Discipline?  Are you still standing close?  Next to me?  I can't seem to pull my eyes from it, the flicker and flame. 

I'm here but just a reminder; I don't plan on letting you leave or ever forget about me again.  Even if you can't see me or your focused in another direction, I'll always be here, a friend to walk beside you every step of the way, every minute of each and every day. 

With that reminder and in your vernacular,  let me just say, "what's up?"

(Laughing ensues)

"What's up?"  Okay.  All right.  You're getting better at this thing you call humoring. 

I have that question I attempted before to be asking; what is in this fire that keeps drawing me in?

And before you too quickly begin now to answer, do you have a Kleenex, a tissue, you can give me?  Or maybe a cloth of some sort?  I'm starting to sweat.  Ouch, it's running down stinging my eyes quite a bit.

Here.  I can't see what you're doing, so I'll just hold my hand out for you. 

My eyes are now steadfast, looking deeper into the flickering of the flame.

You know, a lesson of experience, one to which I haven't heard you speak, but I'm learning anyway?  Maybe we should have considered the order in which we do things.  It would have been better to respond to the flicker of the fire before adorning ourselves with this heavy armor we've put on. 

Is this what a marshmallow feels like when held over an open flame?

The longer I stand here, the more I gaze in, I'm beginning to see another shape, a form; there appears to be a human standing with arms stretched, open wide. 

And next to that human form; is that a rectangle? 

And there are some things positioned on it; a loaf of bread, a pitcher, a couple goblets, and a vessel full of oil sits atop of it. 

(Squinting just a bit.)

Hmm, well, it looks just like a table, only I don't see any chairs positioned around it to sit.

Discipline, do I dare?  I have another question now prompting.  Should I embrace this flicker, the flare, and walk in openly?  My only hesitation is the fear amidst the longing that my ends might get a little burnt, or singed, or I might get straight up lit. 

(Pausing in the quiet for just a couple minutes.)

As I stand here a couple minutes longer, in the tension, in the quiet, I must admit, this fear, it's on its own diminishing quite a bit. 

If that human form and that table inside those flames remain upright, maybe I too can withstand the flames. 

Before I take the leap and walk into the fire, Discipline, is there something you'd like to say, maybe another lesson to bestow? 

I need some assurance before into those flames I go. 

Earth to Discipline?  The flames, they've got you mesmerized as well?

Oh, yes, they do, but I'm still here.  I've been listening quite intently to you.  The only lesson I can give in this moment, as I think, consider what it takes when one throws caution to the fire.  I think the author of these flames will choose what might need to be consumed. 

I do think it's quite important that you obey that thirst welling up inside of you.  So go ahead.  Take that leap into the flicker and the flame.  I would venture there are things both on and in you that will burn away in Jesus name. 

Okay.  Here it goes. 

Oh, you said you wouldn't leave my side.  That means if I'm going, you're going with me.  No doubt, you'll be needed for me to keep standing in an open fire.

So on the count of three, Father, Son, and Spirit, make this leap with me.  Here I go, I'm running headfirst for that human form with his arms stretched wide.